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| Me 30-miles into the ride - gorgeous day! |
Amanda and Mike were my riding buddies!
Yesterday's Fulton Gran Fondo was supposed to be an easy 100-mile warm-up for next Saturday's Almanzo 100. It started off fine. The sun was out. I was riding pretty easy. Not pushing it too much. But 45 miles in, my legs started getting tired. It's one of those feelings you try to ignore because you know you still have a long way to go. Then sometime after the midway point, we took a right turn into a stiff headwind, which wasn't that bad, except we were still 50 miles from home.
With every turn of the crank, I began to wonder how long my legs would last. I look at my speedometer and divide 50 by my meager pace. Ugh. But sometimes biking is like that. It's just hard work and you have to keep on pedaling. I was taking all those feelings and imagining how it was going to be next weekend on gravel roads. My mental "game" was shot. I was still pedaling, but I was defeated.
We stopped at a Holiday Station and refueled a bit. I decided I better pull out all the punches and try Peter Akimoto's secret weapon. As we took off, my legs were still tired and now my stomach was a little uneasy. So the mental gymnastics continued as I tried to convince myself I was going to make it.
To be honest, I don't know when I started feeling better. When my mind says I'm feeling bad, I just believe it. Because I know it is right. At least it was right earlier, so why question it now? But then something happens. You hit a hill, and without thinking, you attack it. Whoa, where did that come from? I think I'm feeling better. And I straighten my mind out. I give myself a talking to. "OK, stop it with all the poor me crap. I'm fine. We're doing this thing."
My legs were great for awhile, but they didn't last. The legs had been wanting to cramp up, and eventually my right leg did with about 5 miles to go. But I was able to shake it out and keep going - even pedaled with one leg for a few strokes while my right leg was incapacitated. My straightened out head, however, did last. It never slipped back into victim mode. I felt like I had a good positive attitude the rest of the way in.
I think this head thing hits us in all walks of life. We have a bad (or maybe a good) experience and we latch onto it. Our head takes that experience and decides what is truth. All supporting evidence is logged to support that truth. We rationalize ways to ignore evidence to the contrary. It takes a significant experience to shake up our head and re-evaluate what we've been believing.
I know I've done that a lot lately - re-evaluated my thinking on various topics. When my experience contradicts my beliefs, it's time to revisit those beliefs. While it's true that any given experience is not always trustworthy, over time my experience should support my beliefs. If I am not willing to revisit something I believe, in spite of my experience to the contrary, then my beliefs cease to be genuine.
If you want more specific examples, you'll have to let me buy you a cup of coffee or a beer. Or I could let you buy me one.
